Building Confidence
The ability to approach problem solving and learning with confidence is a key to any student’s success in the classroom. As we continue to refine and improve educational processes for students, it would be remiss to not encourage and challenge them to ignite their ideas and own unique way at solving problems. Whether the classroom is in a private or inner-city public school, the world of business or nonprofit, teaching individuals to develop inner confidence is essential in preparing them for life. So how do we do that? What are the key components for parents to help them in doing so?
Here are three key steps to help guide parents in developing confidence in their children:
Encourage a child to experience a performance (s)- The influence that performance experiences has on self-confidence depends on the perceived difficulty of the task, the effort expended, and the amount of guidance received; it is argued that performance accomplishments in difficult, independent, and early-in-life tasks carry great value in building confidence. This would include having a child learn to play an instrument, play a sport, dance, act, or any other event that requires practice and then participate in a performance or game in which they need to apply what they have learned. At first, their mastery may be weak but over time as they experience success, they will naturally build confidence which in turn helps them tackle new problems in the future.
Encourage Community Service - A recent study showed that the best way to boost self-esteem was to think about others. Knowing one can make a difference builds authentic confidence within the self. When we serve others and create a positive experience for someone other than ourselves, we build authentic confidence in realizing our ability to affect change.
Encourage a growth mindset - Teaching children to see experiences as opportunities to learn and grow is an important part of building confidence. As parents, we can encourage our children to examine challenges in a positive way. A technique I have used with my own children when they have faced a stumbling block is to ask them to examine what they could have done differently or how could they have prepared differently. Then I sit with them and help them noodle their ideas. This teaches them to not only think about how to improve, but also that they do not have to remain stuck. They can find a path to future success.
As a parent, there is perhaps nothing more frustrating than seeing a child presented with a great opportunity and then watching them become paralyzed with fear and uncertainty. We want children to develop autonomy and intrinsic motivation to set the bar high in life while having the foundational confidence to continue chasing dreams, even if obstacles are placed in the way. Helping them build their confidence is a key part in helping them achieve this.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along" -Eleanor Roosevelt
Dr. Spencer Taintor is the author of “Building Authentic Confidence in Children”, father of 2 and Head of School at St. Mark’s Episcopal School in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.